Helping Loved Ones with Neurodivergence and Eating Disorders

Today we will be discussing how to support a family member diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, ASD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, ADHD, or an eating disorder. 

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Penelope Webb 0:00

Welcome to The Exceptional Humans Podcast, where we discuss questions related to language, identity, education, and behavior. I'm your host, Penelope and I have a background in education, linguistics, and behavioral science. Today we will be discussing how to support a family member diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, ASD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, ADHD, or an eating disorder. I am pairing these diagnoses because there are similarities in the effective supports, as well as a high chance of comorbidity. Comorbidity in this case means that an individual is identified as being neurodivergent, then diagnosed with an eating disorder. It is not uncommon for someone with ASD to also receive a diagnosis of avoidant restrictive food intake disorder, also known as ARFID. Before we discuss subtle changes family members can make in how they support their loved ones, I want to list some of the benefits in providing effective support. The first is improved mental health outcomes. The second is better relationships with family members and others. The third is increased self-esteem. The fourth is enhanced academic and workplace success. And the last is the promotion of inclusivity in wider society. Now let's discuss the subtle changes family members can make in supporting individuals with ASD, ADHD and eating disorders. The first and most important thing that family members can do is shift their mindset away from 'fixing' to supporting. Supporting loved ones in finding effective tools and strategies to address the triggers, barriers and other risk factors surrounding their diagnosis is vital. However, in seeing an individual's neurodivergence or eating disorder as a problem to be fixed is dehumanizing. A car with engine problems requires fixing. A person with a diagnosis needs support from those that care about them most. Learning about the diagnosis your loved one has received is essential in providing appropriate support. And it should be the responsibility of family members to find appropriate supports rather than expecting individuals with ASD, ADHD and EDs to fulfill the role of educator and advocate. Consistency of supports, especially the language used around the diagnosis is important. Family members should avoid using terminology that includes terms that are disparaging to individuals with diagnoses. Especially, words and terminology that have been used historically, but are now considered slurs. Assigning blame should also be avoided. Furthermore downplaying the severity of EDs by using phrases such as 'They're just a fussy eater' undermines both the severity of the diagnosis and your loved one's experience. The experience of somebody with ASD or ADHD or an eating disorder is going to vary quite significantly from a family member supporting that individual. It is important to acknowledge and understand that whilst those experiences may be very different, they are both valid. Lastly, it is important that family members leave space for compassion towards their loved one and themselves. There is no rule book for the journey you are taking in supporting an individual with ASD, ADHD or EDs. Lead by example, model emotional regulation, and demonstrate your love through understanding. The Exceptional Humans Podcast is written and recorded on Kabi Kabi and Jinibara lands. We would like to pay our respects to their elders past, present, and emerging, and pay our respects to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples listening today.